Sophisticated New Yorker Seeks a Life

I don't want to play this up, but I used to be cool.* I mean, I was a sophisticated New Yorker living in Soho among supermodels, A-list actors and euro-trash. I wore designer clothes and always knew which was THE BAG of the season. I knew all the best restaurants and the hottest clubs and my friends would come to me for suggestions on where to host their big birthday bashes.

Since moving to Australia, and particularly since spending the last 10 days alternately sitting on the couch, napping in bed, and meandering through the garden, this has all changed. To illuminate this fact, here is an excerpt of a conversation I had with JL last night**:

Me: Hi honey, how was your day?

JL: Oh, busy. I had to make a margin call, deal with general counsels and attend 3 board meetings for subsidiary companies.

Me: That sounds nice. Do you want to see my chives? I think they've grown a fraction of a millimeter over night!

JL: Ummm, ok, yes.

Me: Oh, and my sprouts are sprouting! Look, see the little white things....isn't that cool!

JL: [Short silence] Lovely....nice job. What do you think about the international whaling crisis?

Me: Has Shamu died??

JL: What do you DO all day?

*By "cool" I mean very marginally not lame.
** Paraphrased (as always).