Monday, March 31, 2008

Craig Rhodenizer - What does he know that I don't?

A friend sent me an article about a certain pastor by the name of Craig Rhodenizer (see article here) who, apparently, got up one evening, informed his wife he was going to Best Buy to have his computer fixed, and then, after failing to come home and being reported as a missing person, was found at an Ohio strip club. Oh, did I forget to mention...he lived in New York!

Now, at first I was simply shocked and appalled by this story, as any non-strip club loving, non-husband leaving, semi-sane person would be. However, after thinking about this some more I realized that Craig Rhodenizer might actually have something going here. I'm not saying that I want to run off to a strip club for days on end (yick), but I wouldn't mind just going mildly crazy for a few days. Just get up one morning, look around and say, Yep today I'm going mad! (Put a bone in my beard and wander around in a bathrobe licking protein gel off the edge of a ratty old towel (ala Douglas Adams, heehee)).

I only approach this subject because I'd like to put everyone on notice that if I ever DO say, hey I'm just going out to get the mail, and then disappear, I'll just have gone mad. I can probably be found on some random beach, surrounded by hot dog remnants and a few dozen dogs....and I'm sure I'll be happy!

Brain Fart

Hello?

Blog? What blog?

Oh...MY blog...you mean the one I never write anymore?

Yes, yes that's the one.

Well....ummmm....hmmm...I'm not really sure what to say...

Get my act together you say?

OK.

Fine.

Yes. I will.

Soon.

:)

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

"Advertising helps me decide"



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What would you think if in the middle of the most recent episode of Cashmere Mafia a commercial came on where a lovely young woman walked along a pretty village sidewalk with a beaver in her arms? Wait, it doesn't stop there. No, this woman and her beaver proceed to go to the park...then out for coffee....then to buy balloons...and then to a romantic restaurant for a cozy little dinner where the woman proceeds to hand her little beaver friend A PACKET OF SANITARY NAPKINS.....GIFT WRAPPED!

The voice over then says something to the effect of "You’ve only got one. So for the ultimate care down there, make it U.”

Do you get it? Do you? I had to think about it at first, and then I was shocked! I mean, I was under the impression that calling your beaver well....your BEAVER was wholly inappropriate. Am I wrong in this? Are we now supposed to walk around referring to the female genitalia as the beaver? (ala, "My poor beaver really would prefer I wore granny-panties rather than thong underwear?") (Note: this is fairly disturbing but true. I love good old fashioned cotton undies!)

My yoga instructor (who always tells the men in our class to tighten the "muscles between the genitals and the anus"....yick!) would likely not agree, and being that she can fold herself in half AND does not shave her armpits I'm totally taking her as my model for the new-feminist.

Now, I'm not really a feminist (I mean, beyond the typical I think woman have a right to equal wages type of stuff) but I really just don't want to call any parts of my body by animals names. I just don't want to. And its just the icing on the cake that these types of names ONLY ever become attached to parts of the female body that have a sexual function. Hmmmm, go figure.

I'm not on a soapbox here and I wanted to give a fair assessment, so I called JL to get his take on the matter. As luck would have it, he had viewed the same commercial last night to which he said "I was shocked aloud." "Thought it was just hopeless." While I have no idea what those statements literally mean (how can someone be "shocked aloud"? does that make any sense at all?) I do get the sense that he's on the same page as me.

In lthe name of further research we then went to the font of all wisdom (i.e., google) where we learned that so many other people had been offended that Kotex had to actually pull the commercial (what braniac thought this up in the first place? (actually, if we're being completely honest, that person is kind of a genius. i mean ads are supposed to be attention-grabbing right. well this one sure grabbed my attention!) But what was even more surprising were the people who actually LOVED the commercial.

One of those people said:

"Fantastic concept. The ad looks like it's achieved everything intended - controversy and public attention for a product which has previously been lost in an amateur advertising campaign; centered around coloured packaging and how it relates to the lives of gen y women. Well done Kotex!"

So now I'm really disturbed. Are all these ads aimed at "gen y" woman? Does that mean, that because I don't like them, I am not a "gen y" woman? At the age of 32, what am I? A "gen x"? "gen w"? Am I finally to the age where I do not have to be influenced by every revolutionary new type of advertisement? Am I? AM. I.?

Fantastic. Finally.

Now if I can just learn to stop luxuriating in the lives of B-grade celebrities I'll be perfectly grown up.

That and giving up the cotton panties, I suppose.

:)

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Great-Aunt

yes I am....a great Aunt (but I PROMISE, I'm only 32). Ryan Spencer was born 2 days ago....

Here is a link to my sister's blog which gives pics, stats etc. She's much more on the ball then I am...clearly.

http://www.debztalkin.blogspot.com/

Go. He's pretty freaking cute!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug*

As you well know, there are days when you really shouldn't get out of bed. Wait....to clarify, there are LOTS of days when I really should not get out of bed.

If on a bad day you think to yourself, today I'm the bug....well then TODAY would be a Mac Truck sized windshield, moving at the speed of light....and I, well I'd be a microscopic miniscule gnat flitting around the heads of atoms. Really. It was that bad.

Since I'm sure everyone has had there share of bad days and really, who wants to hear me complaining YET AGAIN....I'm going to plagarize a comment that JL made to my last post. That'll have to do you for today. Enjoy.

_______________________

Further Chopstar update:

Thanks to her new-found ability to (1) sleep all night, and (2) hold it in for more than 5 mins at a time, Chops was recently upgraded on the party-pooper-boyfriend-can-we-keep-her scale from "No" to "Maybe".

That was before she decided to do a runner from the park yesterday morning, dodging through four lanes of rush-hour traffic, running into the underground train station a half mile away...me stumbling after her in a pair of flip flops...through the turnstiles (no ticket!), back through the turnstiles again...just as I go through...and out the other side, trying to find Kristen who'd just caught the train to work.

The party-pooper-boyfriend-can-we-keep-her scale now reads "Humph".

JL