In Defense of Lawyers

I've been a pretty poor blogger this past couple of weeks because I have been getting crushed at work (literally, crushed).... Case in point, I've been sent to Hong Kong for the past 5 days to close a deal and have been working til 5 a.m. every night! So apologies, and I'll get better....

In Defense of Lawyers

My father hates lawyers....with good reason I'll add. But, as I AM a lawyer, I would like to make the following points in their defense:

1. We don't WANT to work til 5 a.m. every night pushing paper for whiney clients....we do it because whiney clients work til 5 p.m., when they send the information over to us and say, "can we please have a draft of this by 9 a.m. tomorrow" -- then they go out for dinner.*

2. Clients set the pay scale....they basically want us to be available 24 hours/7 days a week.....think of how much you'd have to pay a plumber for that kind of service. You want me to work on Christmas? Fine, but you'll pay for it.

3. Yes, we're mean, yes we're grouchy, yes, we'll push a grandma in front of a moving vehicle if it gets us to that meeting on time....BUT....we've also subsisted on 2.5 hours of sleep per night since leaving law school. Caffeine has become the foundation of the food pyramid.

4. We're out of shape, unhealthy, tired, stressed, living on caffeine, living with ulcers, lonely (since we can never maintain friendships) and unkept (since, truly, showers are optional).....long story short, we're miserable, stressed-out secretaries, at the beck and call of people who are only concerned with themselves.

Yet STILL, we're the butt of hundreds and hundreds of lawyer jokes** and the recipients of true animosity (bordering on hatred). My point? Give the lawyers a break. We're miserable too.....

* "Please" in this scenario, actually means, you will do this, and you will like it, or we will fire you and hire {Blank} law firm instead.....

** See Lawyer Jokes.