Falling in love is NOT the hardest thing....the conference room floor might well be however!

This is not meant to be a physics lesson because....well, basically because I've never taken physics and if I really had to think I about it I don't think I'd even be able to define "physics" let alone educate anyone on any aspect of it. However, Wikipedia (that great source of ALL knowledge) assures me that gravity is an essential component to the study of physics, and since gravity has recently become an important part of my life I would like to tell you a few things about it.

Firstly, gravity is the natural phenomenon by which all mass is attracted to each other.

Secondly, falling is descent under gravity.

Since I have mass....and the conference room floor has mass.....the obvious deduction from the above statements is that we (the conference room floor and I) would be "attracted to one another" and falling is simply gravity's cute little way of getting us together.

On the other hand, the stiletto heel caught in the rung of a chair, the mug of orange juice flying across the room and bouncing off the table, the knees skidding against the carpet, and the sound waves (read: shrieks) rebounding off the walls (which all accompanied the act of falling) appear to be subject to different physical laws (though gravity appears to operate in some respects as well).* In the same vein, the knee the size of a bowling ball, the goose egg bruises and the subsequent inability to walk following the above encounter with gravity I think are more proper for an anatomy lesson.

If you've come to the conclusion that I, as a student of science (hahahah), tested the theory of gravity out myself recently, you'd be right. But only in the name of Truth, Justice and the American Way (wait, that might have been Superman's motto)! Either way, I'm here to tell you....conclusively....that gravity does, in fact, exist!**

Freaking gravity.

PS - According to certain sources, I might not have fallen because of gravity...it might have been God! Check this link out for a stunningly circular dissertation on why gravity, in fact, does not exist (Proof that gravity is an evil lie from satan (the devil)). And please watch out for the description of gravitons as "fairy folk". I particularly like the little drawing!

* Such as a body at rest tends to stay at rest (heel caught in the rung of the chair).
** ....and a bag of frozen corn kernels definitely helps with the swelling afterwards.